Dear Dad | It’s Been 5 Years Since We Celebrated Your Birthday
It’s been 5 years since we celebrated your last birthday with you. It’s crazy how time goes by so slow and so fast all at the same time. Last night I was curled up on the couch watching Grey’s Anatomy – silly, I know, you would have hated this show. But I couldn’t stop thinking about you as they were drilling into the patients hip bone. My mind raced over how you could have managed the pain of that operation, three times, without anesthetic. A few minutes later, you were on my heart again as the fictional character became septic from infection, something that our family knew all too well…
I don’t think people ever fully recover from loss. When we lose someone on this earth, whether it be the loss of a baby, a friend, or a parent, a piece of your heart leaves with them. Eventually, your body will likely cope by scarring over the raw wound but the mark is still there. The scar never leaves. All you can really do is pray that God fills that hole with His peace, love, and understanding.
I’m not going to pretend for a minute that our family is the only family who has experienced the turmoil that follows heartache and loss. But the biggest disservice I could ever do is to not talk about your life. Your amazing life.
Today would have been your 60th birthday. Undoubtedly, we would have made you an Andes Candies cake, sang all 4 versus of ‘Happy Birthday’ (terribly out of tune), and spent the night being way too loud around the dinner table. You would have sighed and wiped your hands over your face, which in turn would probably have caused us to be louder.
I love how I still can see the way in which you loved us through Mom’s kind heart, in Nick’s protective nature, and with Erik’s quiet wisdom. I love how well you would have gotten along with Ben if you only had had the chance to meet him. And I especially love how I think of you every time I take a photograph.
Dad, I think of you every single day. On the days where I talk about you, I almost always end up in tears but today is different. Today I am choosing to celebrate your amazing life and the amazing birthday gift that you gave to us each day, just by being our father.
Für immer dein kleines Mädchen,